my "at home" work table - ahh relaxing...It's Friday again - that was fast.
It's lunch time already - where did the morning go?
Friday always seems like such a great day. You know, you're getting ready to not be at work for two whole days. But sometimes I wonder what life would be like if the week and the weekend were switched.
For me, I work full time at an office, my weekdays seem to gel together in a kind of chaotic routine. I do the same set of things everyday and it gets me to Friday when I can
relax, or
do nothing? That doesn't sound like a typical weekend, does it to you? I mean, I don't even have kids and my weekend is nothing like relaxing. But then again maybe it is.
The thing about my weekend is that maybe it is relaxing, maybe it is because I'm doing what I want to be doing. On the weekend I can work a 15 hour day - during the week I'm struggling to reach 8, with a lunch break and by the time I get home I'm tired and a bit cranky.
I know, I know you've heard it all before. Disgruntled office chick - same old same old. But I think of it as a discovery thing. In graphic design you'll more often find someone who knows what they don't want versus what they do want. Maybe the only way to get to what you want is to find out what you don't want, that takes time and a lot of Awareness. It's that way for me.
This week was an office politics nightmare, complete with false accusations and professional fight picking. It's scary to think that people come to work looking for a fight, expecting a fight - what kind of asleep at the wheel life is that? I guess that's why I'm writing this post. I want to feel like it's all part of the journey. Learning about life and my role in it. Seeing things I don't want so I can focus better on the ones that I do.
This is rant isn't it? If you've hung on long enough to get to this point - thank you for listening.
On another topic, I wanted to write about going to visit my friend and her new baby girl Rome in the hospital. When my friend told me that she was scheduled to be induced on a certain day - it was like I went into super-friend mode. I baked her two big lasagnes (is that a French spelling?) and lemon bars and dropped them off at her place the day before she went to the hospital.
The day she had the baby I never left my desk, so I wouldn't miss the phone call, the phone call I insisted they give me. When the baby arrived I pretty much screamed in delight. I wanted to go there right away - but they told me to wait until the next day -
poop. I was so sad about that but I figured I was just disappointed because I had built up so much excitement that day.
The next day I was out the door and at the hospital at exactly 10am (when visiting hours start).
It hadn't even occurred to me that I might have some kind of break down at the sight of this newborn until I was sitting in my car in the parking garage at the hospital. I decided that a breakdown would be manageable - I'm really liking this new openness with showing my true feelings, it's ok to have feelings even tears.
As I walked from the car to the hospital room I thought about how lucky I felt to be able to be visiting a 20 hour old being. After my sister, who is 7 years younger than me, I've never or can't remember seeing a baby that young until this moment.
I visited with them for an hour. The hospital was so quiet, the room was dim, the parents where tired but so joyful. I was so glad to be a part of that - even if I am just the "who came to visit you in the hospital first" person in the baby book. It was a big deal to me. I held the baby, she sneezed, she was warm and pure love. I didn't break down, not even a lip quiver.
I knew at that moment, that life comes to you. It gets placed in your arms and all you have to do is be there for it.
If you're interested in reading about Awareness I highly recommend " The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" both by Eckhart Tolle
He's popular with Oprah right now so you can even listen to him talk online or on iTunes.
