Hey blog readers!

I just realized that in my crazy abundance of wisdom and knowledge that all your lovely lovely blog comments have been sitting waiting for me to "OK". OK? They are better than ok, more than "approved" extremely appreciated.

I just want to say thanks - knowing you're out there makes my day!

HUGS to you all you wonderful, funny, insightful people.

xoxo

the hard way

I have been struggling so much lately. I always seem to go into change eagerly but once I'm there I fight with it. I often ask myself why must I do everything the hard way. Ha, that just reminded me of the movie the hard way with Michael J. Fox. Why didn't he make more and better movies? He is so cute. Anyway back to my ramblings.

Over the past three months since we moved to California, I've spent most of my time trying to figure out how this move will turn out. Richard is enjoying his work. It's challenging and fun and all about bikes. He and I struggle to fit in. I attribute this to my need to do things where and when other people are not, I can't speak for Richard. Turns out it's hard to meet and make friends when you have these needs. I think they call that anti-social or something. I don't know, I feel like I'm being scrutinized all the time. The funny thing about that is 2 things - 1) its not really true, everyone is more wrapped up their own world and 2) anyone who would judge me like that isn't someone I care to be friends with so who cares. Maybe the problem is me scrutinizing myself...hmmm? The thing is, I ruin everything with my thinking. I think myself into a little corner. Decide all these things that I think are fact and there you go.

The challenge now is how to get out of that corner and start appreciating and accepting our new reality. How do I put myself in the way of friends. How do I find my happy place here? There's nothing worse than constantly coming to the realization that it's all up to me. It's my job to make this work, it's my fault if it doesn't. Oh life!

I started writing for eHow.com where you can find some truly informative how-to articles like "how to get out if bed in the morning" or "how to change a roll of toilette paper". Those gems aren't mine, damn it! Anyway, as silly as it sounds it seemed like something I could fit into my day and maybe if I hit just the right key words, I might make $50. This touches on another subject, my career. Well, with no time during the day except the occasional hour when I don't need a nap or there aren't a billion other things to do I am finding it hard to succeed at being a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom. I tried tethering Emmett to the couch he just doesn't like it - no, just kidding... it wasn't the couch.

Anyway, I fear that should I go on with this post you, dear reader, would be forced to jump off the nearest ledge. So, I will just say, thanks. Thanks to you out there and to the universe. I am grateful for this and as a wise person once said "I want to hold a mirror up to society and then win world record for biggest mirror." Tracy Jordan.

Here are some photos to help you forget about what you just read

Our lovely boy is 9 months old already!